But when the man with whom you're involved is part of another couple, someone else's husband, then the challenge and unpredictability can make your life a messy, unhappy waiting game that you will rarely win.
The woman who is in love with a married man lives a life that, for the most part, is shrouded in secrecy.
What no one tells you when you move back home with your degree and fabulousity in tow, is that married men don't all come as the big belly sugar daddy Nollywood Ogas.
They don't tell you that some of the married men you'll meet will be middle-aged, attractive, "good", hardworking, intelligent dudes that would be perfect for you if they were not married. Did all the kind of things that boyfriends and girlfriends do. I mean I didn't get the this is my girl friend introduction (HA!
She is alone most of the time and spends it waiting: waiting for her married lover to call, to come meet her, to share some precious time together.
Perhaps the best advice you can give someone about having a relationship with a married man is telling her not to even start. As my friend Jenna* told me, "You can't help who you fall in love with.
The love of your life just might be a married man." Being part of any couple can be challenging and unpredictable, as we all know.
When a married man courts a woman, he takes a huge risk—a risk that reveals he wants her very much.
His time with her, whether texting, secret coffee dates, or time spent in her bed, reveals a commitment much deeper than the single men she has been with. They didn’t have to engage in clandestine plans and think of elaborate excuses.